Whether on social, racial, political or any other plan, any relationship between two persons requires honest communication to address their differences. As it goes way back to the yin/yang origin during the big bang, a union between a man and a woman is the most complicated relationship between two human beings. A couple’s love is the answer for the longing towards the primordial unity, that cannot be accomplished by one person alone. One female egg is receptive, zillions of male sperms are active and both are needed to create a baby. Harmony between a man and a woman requires clarity, sincerity and humility in communication. There are plenty of books about love in couples and this short article will only offer my two cents about their harmony.
Five suggestions for better communications in a relationship
ONE – Try to understand both perceptions
One person in a couple can be right without the other being necessarily wrong on the same issue at the same time. When there are disagreements, the same words may have different meanings, some more objective and others more subjective. Addressing facts and opinions may not be enough to answer the couple harmony. Often when the communication doesn’t reconcile the differences, healing the perception may work better and it is not necessarily the other person’s perception.
TWO – Start sentences with “I” instead of “You”
Especially in heated disagreements, the receptive one may feel hurt and the active one may feel unjustly accused. Starting a sentence by “You” may be perceived as an accusation and encourage a more agressive reaction, that in turn will only provoke the disagreement escalation. Starting a sentence by “I” infers speaking from feelings, which by nature are subjective and non-negotiable. This is easier said than done but worth a try.
THREE – Go to sleep without anger
Frustration implies anger and aggression against the person perceived as being the cause. Usually circumstances don’t allow immediate dealing with anger, that is then repressed. Sooner or later, accumulated anger will explode. Daily little waves are better than a big tsunami. The anger poison in one’s heart will hurt that person all the time. A daily cleansing before going to sleep offers a better conflict resolution and anger management. Not only will both sleep better, but intimate togetherness in bed will mend lots of unnecessary wounds.
FOUR – Love the life you are living together
Most people believe that love of the other is a guarantee for a couple longevity. While this is very important, it is not enough. It has been established that tea for two and two for tea is not working. Passions come and go in cycles but the couple’s life is present at every moment. It should constantly be fed and enjoyable. Practically, the couple life needs common goals about family, work, hobby or else, as well as daily affective thoughts and actions.
FIVE – Care for your couple soul
A relationship is not only about satisfying each other needs and wants. The third entity called the couple needs to be cared for every day. Most separations and divorces are the result of couple neglect. Though invisible, the couple has a soul that needs to be fed daily. As said in previous point both partners must have common interests, but each one have independent activities that must be shared with the other. This is key for a long lasting and harmonious couple.